We really need to choose life on a moment to moment basis. Keep asking yourself over and over again: are you wrapped up in thoughts or are you connecting with the reality of what is going on around you? It is that simple. Relationships and thought are a good example. When we ﬁrst meet our partners, life is a laugh, full of joy and fun. Over time we begin to better get to know our partners. We can often lose sight of their good points and start to dwell on their bad points.
We focus on the habits of the other person that annoy us: clothes are not put away, he/she spends too much money, is too tight with money, wastes electricity, is obsessed about wasting electricity, likes to party too much, won’t go out at all, watches TV too much, buys too much junk food, won’t let himself go, has no interest in others, have little in common. We start to analyse and dwell on the differences and we run them over and over in our mind. We forget about our partner’s good points as the bad points take over. Then, we meet our partners and see him or her through this collection of thought. We begin to argue and tension arises. Emotions run high and we get upset with each other.
This is a reﬂection of the mind. Little habits that before were endearing are now the cause of marital and relationship issues. If your relationship has issues, then the next time you see that person, see him or her as if for the very ﬁrst time. If you were not looking through the past, things would be different. People running on a train of thought think negatively about their relationships all the time. Then, when they see the person, they look through what they have been thinking about. How could you have a good relationship by looking through so much junk?
If you are not happy, you are spending too much time thinking. If you don’t get on with members of the opposite sex, you are spending too much time thinking. If you hate your job, you are spending too much time thinking. If you feel unattractive, you are spending too much time thinking. If you think you are God’s gift to women, you are spending too much time thinking. You are creating problems from your thoughts. If you just let your thoughts subside, you would have far fewer problems.
The answer is to not analyse the other person. Don’t look through your collection of thoughts. Don’t have a preconceived idea of him or her. See and really see. Hear and really listen. Feel and really feel. You will sense freedom when you get in touch with life, as life is the prime substance behind everything. The real world is life itself, not a collection of thoughts. Some people never put down their thoughts, even for just a short while. These people completely miss out on life.
If you don’t like your job, do it without thought. Don’t let your mind into analyse it and turn your workplace into a living hell. I spent a couple of years hating a job. I thought about it incessantly. All this does is get you down and keeps you trapped in the job. The more you think about how much you don’t like your job, the less room you have for a solution to enter.
Very few thoughts will bother you if you are there step by step. Don’t run on a collection of thoughts that you think it is. Following time step by step involves no thought. As time passes, go with time. Don’t think of the future or worry about the past. The past is exactly where it is – in the past. There is little you can do to change it. Thoughts are imagined as if they are real, but they are not real at all. Thoughts are stale. They are based on past conditioning and programs. But life is ﬂuid and ever changing. You cannot get answers for something that is ﬂuid by delving into old thoughts.
Feel your inner body. Reduce your breathing!
I cannot stop thinking
You might say that this all makes sense but it is impossible to stop thinking when things go wrong. Yes, I agree that doing it is more difﬁcult. But at the same time, it is a lot easier than allowing the mind to run off on a worrying stream of thought. Of any 24 hour day, negative events generally account for a very small amount of time. It is our thinkaholic nature which prolongs the situation in our mind.
It is easier to build up your awareness by stilling the mind when things are GOING RIGHT FOR YOU. When life is running smoothly, make it a continued practise to observe your thoughts and bring COMPLETE attention to the present moment, or feel your inner body or follow your breath. The more you do this, the easier it is when things are not running so smoothly.